Exceedingly Curious

This year I’m reading the Book of Mormon. Here is a sample of my reading schedule, with dates and pages to be read. Note that by the middle of June, instead of two pages a day, I’ll read one page a day for the rest of the year to finish on time.

Last year, my wife and I read the entire Old Testament (minus the Song of Solomon) following a chart like this–but with more pages to read per day. This year we are reading the New Testament. Here’s a sample of our schedule with dates and page numbers. Like my reading of the BOM, we started the year reading two pages a day, but eventually dropped to one page for the schedule to fit the year.

I like reading by pages instead of chapters because it gives us a consistent and digestible dose of the Scriptures each day. Reading by chapter sometimes gives too little and sometimes, way too much.

This year I am singing my way through the hymn book, one hymn per day, as part of my morning devotional.

There seem to be more hymns that I don’t know–or sort of know– than ones I do.  I sight-sing fairly well, so don’t need to go to the Church’s website to hear how an unfamiliar melody goes, though I go there to listen to some anyway.

Here is my hymn singing schedule for the year, which I keep in a hymn book near my desk:

There are, of course, only 341 hymns, so by December 7, I’ll be done.

Here is a text file of the chart. You could start on any day and loop back to the beginning. The chart may be useful to track things other than hymns. Days of the year blank chart

My new daughter-in-law, Sarah, was baptized on 28 December 2010, and I was asked to speak on the gift of the Holy Ghost. Here’s the talk I gave:

To understand the role of the Holy Ghost, it is first necessary to understand something about ourselves. Each of us is made up of two parts, our spirit and our body.

The relationship between these two parts becomes clearer if you imagine a hand to be your spirit and a glove to be your body. When we are born, our spirit, which is eternal, enters our body, like putting on a glove. Just as a glove responds to and conforms to the desires and movements of the hand inside it, our body responds to and obeys our spirit. At death, our spirit leave our body, like removing a hand from a glove. The hand, like our spirit, is still alive and able to move, but the glove, like our body, is no longer animated and lies unmoving and lifeless.

At the time of the resurrection, our body will be reconstituted in a perfected state and our spirit will enter back into it, never to be separated again.

During our earth life, with our spirit inside our body, we communicate through our senses: hearing, smell, touch, taste, and sight, and by speech and movement. It is easy, here,  for us to mishear things, to misconstrue meanings, to misunderstand intentions. And it is difficult for us to communicate with others and make ourselves perfectly understood.

The Holy Ghost is a personage of spirit. He is a member of the Godhead, but unlike the Father and the Son, who have perfected bodies of flesh and bone, the Holy Ghost is a spirit without a body. This gives Him the ability to communicate directly with our spirits–spirit to spirit–bypassing our clumsy physical equipment.

When the Holy Ghost tells us something, He speaks it directly to our spirits, causing us to know and believe what He tells us more firmly than is possible by any other type of communication or evidence.

The Holy Ghost has several important jobs. Foremost among them is to testify of the Father and of the Son. Another of His responsibilities is to reveal the truth of all things. Another is to influence people to choose the right, to obey Heavenly Father’s commandments, to do good. He also serves as the Great Comforter, speaking peace to our souls in time of anguish or loneliness or trouble.

When the Holy Ghost speaks to our spirits, how do we know what he said?

Sometimes people hear an audible voice, but this is extremely rare. Sometimes His words enter our consciousness as thoughts or impressions. Most often, for most of us, we receive communications from the Holy Ghost through our feelings. His messages are freuently referred to as coming by a still, small voice, a voice that, if we are sensitive and trying to be in tune, we can feel.

In 1 Nephi 17, Nephi says to his brothers, Laman and Lemuel, “Ye are swift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord your God. Ye have seen an angel, and he spake unto you; yea, ye have heard his voice from time to time; and he hath spoken unto you in a still small voice, but ye were past feeling, that ye could not feel his words.”

President Ezra Taft Benson said, “When you do good, you feel good, and that is the Holy Ghost speaking to you.”

The Holy Ghost functions in two ways, through the power of the Holy Ghost and through the gift of the Holy Ghost.

The power of the Holy Ghost can come upon a person before baptism. It is the convincing witness that Jesus Christ is our Saviour and Redeemer. Through the power of the Holy Ghost, sincere investigators can acquire a conviction of the truthfulness of the Saviour’s Gospel, of the Book of Mormon, of the reality of the Restoration, and of the prophetic calling of Joseph Smith.

The gift of the Holy Ghost is the right to have the power of the Holy Ghost with you all the time.

The gift of the Holy Ghost, in a way, is like being given a musical instrument. The instrument–think of a shiny, new trumpet–has been given to you. It is yours. You can open the case and admire it any time you want. But to get the most from your trumpet, you have to learn to play it. The more you practice with it, the more useful it becomes and the more joy you have in the gift.

President Spencer W. Kimball put it this way. “The gift of the Holy Ghost grows with worthiness. If you are baptized when you are eight years old, of course you are a child, and there is much you would not be expected to know. But the Holy Ghost comes to you as you grow and learn and make yourselves worthy. It comes a little at a time as you merit it. And as your life is in harmony, you gradually receive the Holy Ghost in a great measure.”

I’m thankful for the gift of the Holy Ghost and for the influence of the Spirit in my life. I hope you, too, will find joy in this gift and allow yourself to be guided by it.

(Tanner Thomas, 16, has given Exceedingly Curious permission to post a talk he gave in a recent stake conference.)

“No Toy Left Behind” – No One Uninvited
by Tanner Thomas
(copyright 2010, Tanner Thomas)

Fifteen years ago, when I was only 1 year old, the world was introduced to the movie, Toy Story, starring Buzz Lightyear and Sheriff Woody. This was one awesome animated movie . . . all about the popular toys from the past few decades. There were Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head, Etch-a-Sketch, Rex the dinosaur, Ham the Piggy Bank, and of course, Slinky Dog, the toy dachshund. There are also other toys brought to life, including plastic green army men, Barrel of Monkeys, and Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.

All of these toys belong to a little boy named Andy and they love to be played with by Andy. As you might imagine these toys get into all sorts of funny situations and they go on all sorts of adventures. These toys have fears and joys, as well as frustrations and challenges.

There have been three Toy Story movies that have come out over the last 15 years. In each movie the toys have stuck together, and there has been a theme among them. That theme is “No Toy Gets Left Behind!” Led by Sheriff Woody and Buzz Lightyear, these toys always stick together.

Imagine ourselves in this movie — we’re not animated toys, we’re real people — but we could imagine ourselves on a similar mission trying to get home to our Heavenly Father. Our theme also should be “No person gets left behind!” I think there are three ways that can help us make sure no one is left behind.

First of all, I think it is important to be nice to each other. If there is one thing Mormons should be known for it is being nice. That is one of the true characteristics of a follower of Christ.

In Toy Story, some toys were likeable and easier to be nice to. Other toys, like Mr. Potato Head, were always cranky and sarcastic. But we need to be nice to everyone. It may take practice, but it can be part of who we are. It also take humility to be kind to everyone. But we can do this by following the counsel from President Uchtdorf, who said, “We don’t discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we find it by thinking less about ourselves.”

The second item that I feel is important is that we serve each other. Serving each other helps build friendship and trust. In Toy Story, Buzz Lightyear and Woody started out as rivals, competing against one another. But when they were in trouble they relied on each other. They nearly get blown up, ran over, and torn apart. But to survive, they help each other time and time again. They are two different toys, but they become good friends. I know this is just an animated cartoon, but it teaches an important lesson that is also taught by King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon. That is, that we will be happiest when we serve each other, and that is what Heavenly Father asks of us. We should look for ways to help our family and others around us.

Those first two ways of sharing the gospel are sort of indirect. They make us happy, they make others happy, and others can notice the gospel in how we live.

The third way in which we can make sure no one is left behind is just as important as the others. We can ask them to come with us! We can invite our friends to learn about the gospel. Most people around here don’t know much about Mormons and what they often hear on TV isn’t always correct. What others think of Mormons is what they think of you, because you’re probably the only one they know. My brother, Aaron, and I are the only Mormons in our schools. But it is important not only that they know we’re Mormon, but that they are welcome to learn more about the church.

Last week, a general authority, Elder Walker, came to our branch. He spoke to our youth group and he encouraged us to let others know about our church and what we believe in. If someone asks about a church topic, a good reply is, “Would you like to know more about that?” When we have a church activity we can simply invite them and offer them a ride. If they want to know more, we can ask them to come meet with the missionaries. It’s up to them to say yes or no, but it’s up to us to let them know we care.

A year and a half ago, two of my friends came to an activity. They saw the For the Strength of Youth book on a table. They picked it up and seemed interested in it. I told them that it’s a guide book for the youth of our church. They teased me a bit and they quickly named it the Perfect Kid book. These friends would always try to see who could be the perfect kid the longest, trying not to swear, listen to good music, and follow all the topics in the Perfect Kid book. Unfortunately, they failed numerous times, but I know that it helped them see how youth should be and act.

These are three items that I feel are important, whether our personality is a Buzz Lightyear or a Mr. Potato Head. We can be kind, serve each other, and invite our friends to learn more about the church. It helps for us to remember that we’re all Heavenly Father’s children. I’m certain Heavenly Father cares about us way more than Andy cared about his toys. Heavenly Father gave us his Son and our brother, Jesus Christ, and he gave us each other. I know Heavenly Father wants all of us to return to him one day, and we’ll be happiest if we leave no one behind.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

A: Dont’ “flat hat”

B: Sullenberger’s Hudson River landing

C. Smudge pots in orchards

D: President Uchtdorf

Elder Uchtdorf’s talk in the opening session of the October 2010 General Conference was profound, inspiring, and amusing. He has gotten a lot of mileage, as far as talks go, out of his skill and experiences as a pilot, but he is not the only General Authority to fly and not the only one draw lessons from it.

Here, for example, is a quote from one of my favorite talks by Hartman Rector Jr., taken from the  Ensign, Jan. 1973:

“In my experience, I have found that it is very, very dangerous to fly just high enough to miss the treetops. I spent twenty-six years flying the navy’s airplanes. It was very exciting to see how close I could fly to the trees. This is called “flat hatting” in the navy, and it is extremely dangerous. When you are flying just high enough to miss the trees and your engine coughs once, you are in the trees.

“Now let’s pretend that the navy had a commandment—“Thou shalt not fly thy airplane in the trees.” As a matter of fact, they did have such a commandment. In order to really be free of the commandment, it becomes necessary for me to add a commandment of my own to the navy’s commandment, such as, “Thou shalt not fly thy airplane closer than 5,000 feet to the trees.” When you do this, you make the navy’s commandment of not flying in the trees easy to live, and the safety factor is tremendously increased.”

After General Conference, it is often said that we have received our marching orders for the next six months.

That idea comes from President Ezra Taft Benson, who was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles when he gave a devotional address at Brigham Young University on 26 February 1980.

The talk was entitled Fourteen Fundamentals In Following The Prophet. In it, he said:

“The living prophet has the power of TNT. By that I mean “Today’s News Today.” God’s revelations to Adam did not instruct Noah how to build the ark. Noah needed his own revelation. Therefore, the most important prophet, so far as you and I are concerned, is the one living in our day and age to whom the Lord is currently revealing His will for us. Therefore, the most important reading we can do is any of the words of the prophet contained each week in the Church Section of the Deseret News and any words of the prophet contained each month in our Church magazines. Our marching orders for each six months are found in the general conference addresses, which are printed in the Ensign magazine.”

The term marching orders doesn’t mean what most people think.

Marching orders are not orders to a resting army to get it up and headed somewhere, they are orders given to an army while it is on the march.

The idea was developed in the French army in the 1700s. As the army was on the move, leaders on horseback would tell the troops where they were headed and what was expected when they got there. Orders had to be simple and clear so that marching soldiers could understand them, yet detailed enough so the troops knew what they were supposed to do.

Isn’t marching orders a good term for direction the Church receives today? We don’t sit around doing nothing, waiting for General Conference so we can be told what to do. We are an army already on the march.

We are marching, progressing, through services to each other and to others. We are marching, progressing, in Scripture study. We are active in church callings. We are seeking the influence of the Holy Spirit. We are striving to keep the Lord’s commandments. We are active in temple work.

We are working to fullfill the three-fold mission of the Church: Proclaim the Gospel, Perfect the Saints, and Redeem the Dead.

When General Conference comes, rarely are we told anything new and startling; rather we are given encouragment and special intructions to help us in our march, to help us better understand our mission, and to help correct our course.

Conference talks help us improve the speed of our march, avoid evils that may befall us along the way, try harder to fulfill our righteous desires.

The French marching order, over time, developed into the U.S. Army’s five-paragraph operation order that is used today.

The five-paragraph operation order is ususally not given while troops are on the move, but is designed to be prepared quickly, often in as little as 15 minutes, and to be given quickly, in as little as seven minutes.

Because a leader is using a specific format for an order, and because soldiers are familar with that format, it makes communication of the order quick and effective.

As the name suggests, there are five paragraphs: Situation, Mission, Execution, Service and Support, and Command and Signal.

Situation includes information about enemy forces, friendly forces, and attachments and detachments.

Mission tells the who, what, when, where, and why of what is supposed to be done.

Execution tells how it is to be done, and includes a Concept of the Operation, Missions of subunits, and Coordinating Instructions.

Service and Support talks about the four Bs: beans, bullets, bandages, and bad guys. That is to say, how the troops will be fed and sheltered, what weapons and ammo they will carry, how medical help will be provided, and what to do with enemy prisoners of war.

Command and Signal tells just that. What the chain of command is, where the commander is located, and what signals and passwords will be used.

An interesting exercise might be to use a simplified version of the five-paragraph operation order as a notetaking device for Conference talks. Not everything will be filled in during a talk and certainly not in order, but it could be a good way to organize notes on what is said.

If pornography or dishonesty or breaking the Word of Wisdom is mentioned, for example, it would be noted under Enemy in the Situation paragraph.

If visiting or home teachers or youth leaders or bishops are mentioned, or the Holy Ghost, these would be written under Friendly forces.

Specifics of what the speaker encourages us to do would be entered in Mission and in Execution.

Experiences and stories that support the speakers theme could be entered under Service and Support.

References to specific Scripture verses could be entered under Command and Signal

And so on.

This may not be an effective note-taking procedure to use all the time, but it could, for a single talk or a single session or a single Conference, be a useful way to focus on what is being said. Marching orders, after all, are marching orders.

1. Situation

A. Enemy

B. Friendly forces

2. Mission (What we are being asked to do)

Who:
What:
When:
Where:
Why:

3. Execution (How we are being asked to do it)

4. Service Support

5. Command and Signal

Most of us are aware of Mark Twain’s quip about the phrase “and it came to pass” in the Book of Mormon. In chapter 16 of Roughing It, Twain said:

“The author labored to give his words and phrases the quaint, old-fashioned sound and structure of our King James’s translation of the Scriptures. . . Whenever he found his speech growing too modern–which was about every sentence or two–he ladled in a few such Scriptural phrases as ‘exceeding sore,’ ‘and it came to pass,’ etc., and made things satisfactory again. ‘And it came to pass’ was his pet. If he had left that out, his Bible would have been only a pamphlet.”

Myth Busters is probably not going to tackle this, so I will.

Loading the entire Book of Mormon into my word processor and asking for the word count, I got 297,596 words. However, this is including chapter and verse numbers and such, so rather than remove all these and try again, I searched on line and found that someone came up with 268,163.

Close enough.

I searched my document for “and it came to pass” with case turned off so it would include both capitalized Ands and lower case ands. It found 1,093. (YMMV)

Just to be fair, I searched for “it came to pass” so I could get not just the and-it-cames, but also “wherefore, it came to pass,” “behold, it came to pass,” “now it came to pass,” etc. This got 1,323 hits. I went with that.

Here, from my soon to be available book, “265 Flippin Jazillion,” is a newspaper column I wrote several years ago:

It has been brought to my attention that I have written about cats a number of times, but never about dogs. This, I have been told, is unfair.

I’m not a big fan of diversity for diversity’s sake. Nor do I feel that every species deserves and should demand equal attention here. Good grief—soon the International Gerbil Coalition will be protesting at my door.

“But you should write at least one column about dogs. After all, they are man’s best friend,” a certain admirer of canines informed me.

Be careful what you ask for.

The closest I ever came to injuring myself with laughter was due to a bulldog named Clarence.

The darling pet of a buddy’s girlfriend, Clarence was quite possibly the ugliest dog alive. He was a short, broad, muscle-bound English bulldog who resembled Winston Churchill. But that’s not all. He was also an albino, with almost translucent skin and weird, pink eyes.

The poor mutt had long ago lost the vision in his left eye, and the skin hung down from his baggy face hiding his right one. In other words, he was literally blind in one eye and couldn’t see out of the other.

Clarence was a good-natured fellow and would sometimes use his limited ability to see as an excuse to do outlandish things. Walking on the family cat seemed to be a particular favorite.

During a quiet evening, Clarence would stand up, yawn, and amble off toward the kitchen, which, normally, he could steer a direct path to. But should the cat have made the tactical error of falling asleep on the living-room carpet, Clarence would veer off course and “accidentally” tromp right over the snoozing feline.

The cat, of course, would wake up hissing and on guard and would instinctively slap Clarence in the face. The bulldog, pretending to be the picture of innocence, would put on a confused expression that seemed to say, “What did I do?”

This look would then turn to outrage.

“Listen, cat,” his face seemed to say, “you started this. So don’t blame me for what’s about to happen.”

The cat, sensing a change in the dog’s temperament, would take off running. At that point, what could poor, abused Clarence reasonably be expected to do but give chase?

The living room was connected to the dining room by a large, open archway. From the dining room, if you turned right, you entered a hallway, at the end of which was a bedroom. If you walked into that bedroom and again turned right, you ended up back in the living room where you started.

This is the circuit around which Clarence—who was really quite fast for dog of his bulk—would chase the cat. After one or two go-rounds, the cat would dash under the couch where big-headed Clarence couldn’t get her. Why she didn’t just run under the couch to begin with, I don’t know.

One evening my buddy and I were at his girlfriend’s house, where the three of us sat watching the Ed Sullivan Show. Suddenly my friend nudged me and nodded toward Clarence, who had stood up and was yawning. I had heard about this routine, but had never actually seen it.

Sure enough, Clarence strode off, taking a path that led directly over the sleeping cat, who woke up and gave the dog a dope-slap right across the chops. And then, there it was, just as I had been told: the innocent look, the outrage, and then the chase.